Archive for August 2009

Thing that i hate the most is the thing i loved the most?

Monday, August 31, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
i was once gave up on living. or maybe i was thinking like that.

i always thinking that life is a BORING thing before i turn into animefan.
it was just LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN!. i was a total geek when i in elementary school.
and of coz, i scored straight A's in UPSR exam. but still i'm not quite happy about it.
so are my family. they think that it just another "SHOULD GOT" thing.

i hate to say it but my family standard are rather high. my BROs and SISs are very good in their studies. but still from my point of view, they are just another "PUPPET" of my mom. they just did what my mom "FORCED" them to do.

after seeing that, i turned rebellious. I HATE MY FAMILY......i want to shout these words, but i know i'm not strong enough for that. in the end, i just can hate myself. i don't want to dance on my parent palm.

I WANT TO CHASE MY DREAM! ITS MY RIGHT! NO ONE CAN MAD AT ME ABOUT THAT!
WHAT'S WRONG OF GOING INTO COMPUTER AND TECHNOLOGY FIELD. THERE'S NO RULE IN ISLAM THAT FORBID IT. WHY THE HECK MY MOM WANNA GET SO PISSED OFF BY IT. WHAT THE FUCK?????? WHAT THE FUCK???????? THIS IS MY LIFE! NOT HERS. NO MATTER HOW GOOD THE LIFEWAY SHE CHOOSE, BUT STILL, I WANNA DO WHAT I WANT TO DO! I DON'T WANT TO DANCE IN SOMEONE PALM!

omg.....i said it.....

RETURN!

Monday, August 24, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
do you ever notice of the "return" button on your keyboard.

YEAH~ with just a simple press and all back to normal. well sometimes not all things back to normal. some remains....

well i have my modem fixed or changed to be exact. and my internet once again UP AND ROCKING!

hmmm 3 days without internet make me relize, how great is this life.....or maybe its just me who think that it is boring. STILL i love the things around me right now and not hoping for it to lose.

:P a bit sentimental isn't it? well just feel like it.

hahaha. what happened these past 3 days? nothing personally. :P
BUT I HAVE FUN IN THE END! SUPER FUN!~

that's all i can say~

HORRIBLE the 4th......(I AM GETTING PISSED DAY BY DAY!)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
what more could be worse?

being ear-sicking-lectured by the teacher i HATE THE MOST!
(i felt like wanna KILL him, can't even control my anger. even my hands were shaking!

ARGH!!

(lazy to talk bout this, really not in the mood)

at night, the worse of them all happened! my pc broken (AGAIN!).

and this time it is quite bad. my HARDDISK BROKEN! fully infected by virus and eventually cannot even be format or detected in another pc.

THERE GOES MY another 100gb files. MY LIFE IS SO FUCK! IT IS FULL OF SHITTING BAD LUCK!

ARGHHHH even my allergy are coming back. SHIT!
how bad things could get tomorrow? OH I KNOW! MAYBE TOMORROW I WILL DIE! (FINALLY!)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME!

p/s: one lucky thing today, i got another scholarship. ANOTHER RM 1000, bank-in. (9xx actually)
i really started to think that
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"IN ORDER TO GET SOMETHING,
SOMETHING WILL BE SACRIFICE"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T__T

Horrible the 3rd (WTH?)

Posted by くろなつ
its another bad day in a bad week.

what a bad-fengshui-person am i!

well it's my mistake actually. i was late for school. and the discipline teacher just took away my motorcycle's key(including my house keys). TRULY BAD LUCK!

i knew that i gonna go out from school around 1-2 pm to fetch my scholarship's money. and surely function like that take a lot of time! and IT DID!. T__T

i back from TESDEC (the place where the function being held) around 6 pm.

i knew all along the office (where my keys are) already shut down!
even if i knew all along, i still turned moody! very gloom!
HATRED? OH YEAH! FULL OF IT!

so i didn't drive my bike home. left it at school (DUH! i have no keys to unlock it!). just patiently wait for the taxi....it was late and i got what i want and got home safely

(at first i thought i will have to walk 8km home... (the day was late and there isn't many public vehicles as it is in the noon)

but on the bright side, i got my scholarship! XD RM 1000.00 CASH!!! hehe~
for startle, i wanna settle all my debts with school. (LOL I HAVEN'T PAID THE REGISTRATION MONEY!) :P

i think RM200 enough to cover all of it. ^__^
and of course, i wanna buy a graphic card for my pc.

my choice: Gigabytes geforce 9800 gt, (512 or 1gb, haven't decide yet)
wanna check it at the town in the weekend.~
and also PIKOM PC FAIR is coming to Terengganu! PARTY TIME!~

p/s: LOL i got to hand-shake with the Menteri Besar Terengganu - Ahmad Said. @.@

HORRIBLE the 2nd

Monday, August 10, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
i went to town today with my mom, i DROVE! yeah~

all was good until suddenly!

ANOTHER ACCIDENT!

and this time, someone sure like my CAR-ASS.

i was driving at my mom's guide. apparently she was looking for her friend's shop.
i just drove as slow as i could (50km/s). just when she told me to stop. i did what i should do. gave the signal and slowly brek. just when the card stop and i was eagerly waiting for the traffic to clear to go to right side, a motor CAME FROM BEHIND AT HIGH SPEED (i assumed 70-80km/s).

*i think he's not looking at the front.

he brek as hard as he could and tried to evade my car. then he hit my CAR-BUTT out of blue. he fell (LOL ANOTHER ONE!) on the road on the left of my mom. even i in the driver seat could see laying. @.@

another tragedy.....

i moved the car out of in the middle of the road. and parked it safely. the motor-boy stood up (A MIRACLE!) and moved away his bike from the middle of the road. then there goes my mom with her AHH-where-is-my-repairment-money-EYS.........

she decided not to report it to the police since the boy agreed to pay for the repairment money, (if me, surely sue him!) i just stood there and made my stupid-and-nothing-happened face. YEAH~

ITS NOT MY MISTAKE, ITS HIS. HE WAS THE ONE WHO "KISSED" MY CAR-ASS.

*skipped that and this*

the matter took me 3 hours to settle. i got home LATE around 10 pm.......

KUYASHI!!!! TOTEMO!!!

The Starting of the HORRIBLE!

Sunday, August 9, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
YAY~ its sunday again.

the 1st day of the week. should i be happy or what? heh~

well nothing in particular happened at school except for my "kids". curios?

(now now, where is the picture? oh yeah in there~)

HORA! take a good look at my "kids" (4 of them):

(hahaha my "kids" are busy with their mother~)

well i'm the one that always care for them~ i like kittens~! XD and they are KAWAII!!!!!
oh wait, i haven't named them yet >.< hehehe

that's the only good part in the day.

after got back from my school and reached my OKA-san's shop. a boy, suddenly fell from his bike. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY VERY EYES!

what had happened?

well the road were wet and the drove at quite a decent speed. with sudden break, he fell.

he have no life-threatening-wounds. just some minor cuts. i helped him and treated his wounds. then i went home. (LOL I'M LEAVING AN INJURED PERSON BEHIND!) actually his friend arrived not long after that.

here's the nightmare began....

i got back home and booted up my pc as any other day. BUT! my internet was not connected! tecnical problem FOR SURE! i was SO F**KING stressed. and was EVEN MORE STRESSED when my pc started to lagging and stuck when i playing DotA offline. i was like OH-MY-F**CKIN-S**T.

i don't know what was it problem. but it really made me MAD, SUPER MAD!

i spent 3 hours fixing all those things and just when i finished......THE LIGHTNING STROKE!

STORM!!!!!! OH-S**T!

thanks to that, i couldn't play games or watched animes.

what did i do? LOL~! i just turned to my handphone and opened anime songs in it.

FRUSTRATED BUT ITS MY ONLY CHOICE LEFT.

and the storm last for 2 hours.......i re-booted my pc after it then went to sleep. didn't have the mood to touch the pc.

CAMP!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
i can't stop listening to this song :

Clint Mansell - Requiem for a dream (orchestral version)

yeap~ one of the OST in the movie "The Lord of the Ring: The Two Towers" its also the thriller's BG music.

well enough for that part, i gonna be off for a week or so starting tomorrow.

being FORCED to join CAMPS for my studies........how much can it get >.<

i will be back on wednesday next week. RIGHT BEFORE TERENGGANU PC FAIR! GREAT!

PIKOM PC FAIR, they will be coming to terengganu also. (well they are going all over Semenanjung Malaysia actually) XD

15th = saturday, GACC 1st day. ALL ANIMEFAN (otaku) MUST GO TO THE GACC! (i know i can't, too FAR!)

just to be secure, wear a mask! you never know whether there will be H1N1 virus flying at the GACC or not. >.<

sore ja~ (see me again in 7 days)

LIFE

Sunday, August 2, 2009
Posted by くろなつ
I wonder sometimes...

am i worthy to be here (alive)?
am i worthy for tomorrow?
was i worthy before?

these questions keep on coming to me when i was alone or in a bad mood.

i can only say, NO!

i'm not worthy for all of it, be it in the past, present nor the future. the world seems to be TOO GOOD for the likes me to reside in. I AM NOT WORTHY! that's all i can say.
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